Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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