im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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