1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
