Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize