I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Why did my mother make you get naked?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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