My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
