defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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