I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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