Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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