you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
