please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize