my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize