you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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