I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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