What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
