hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So squirting runs in the family.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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