Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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