I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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