You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
