So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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