Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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