my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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