Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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