i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
