I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It was confusing and full of hummus
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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