i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
