And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
