Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I CAN MOONWALK!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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