Dual....:-)
Acid is not a monday night drug
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
