The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
