The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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