they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
do nipples grow back?
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