YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
