Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
