I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
