oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
