Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
