is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
