It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
