I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
