I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
