he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My balls are so social today.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
