U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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