she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
