so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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