I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
