three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
