Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
