sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
