if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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