how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My penis needs a shock collar
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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