giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
