it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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