it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I will pee on everything he values.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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