so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
