I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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