He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
