What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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