I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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