Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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