You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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