I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
