Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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