i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
