i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
