so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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