yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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